


Your the One That I Want

by dracko



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Language, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 14:30:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracko/pseuds/dracko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beta: casey270<br/>Adam and Tommy spend six amazing weeks together on a beach in California, only to be separated at the end of the summer. Eighteen months later, Adam's family moves across country, and he finds himself within arms length of his love Tommy. However, he is unable to be with Tommy because Tommy is still "in the closet." I am horrible at summaries, This is basically a adaptation of Grease as seen through my weird brain. This is my first attempt at first person, so I hope it doesn't suck. :)<br/>Disclaimer: I own no one. All lies from my wicked, wicked brain. Enjoy.<br/>Author's notes: I just want to take a moment to say thank you to cassandra_ml for the lovely artwork to inspire my muse. Also, a big thanks to casey270. You are an amazing beta, and I look forward to future partnerships. I hope you all enjoy!</p>
<p>Glam_Reverse Big Bang Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your the One That I Want

**Author's Note:**

> Please go check out the artwork that goes with my fic by cassandr_ml. She did such a lovely job giving me inspiration to write this through her art. 
> 
> Link to artwork: http://cassandra-ml.livejournal.com/64442.html

Adam's POV

“You'll write? Everyday?” Tommy asked, lifting his head off of my chest so he could look into my eyes. His caramel eyes were pleading.

“Of course I will, Angel. Everyday,” I tell him. I move my hand from where it's resting on the bare skin of Tommy's back to his cheek, tracing his jaw with my thumb.

Tommy closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. I could feel his even breathing, though his body was tense.

“I'm afraid I'll never see you again.”

I pulled Tommy up the length of my body, pulling a surprised groan from his lips. I wanted him eye-to-eye, my gaze burning through his soul as I spoke to him. “Don't ever say that Tommy. It doesn't matter where I go tomorrow; one day, when I'm 18, I will come find you. I promise you that.”

He looked at me with hopeful eyes. “Really?”

“I can't live without you, Tommy. You've ruined me.”

Tommy giggled for a moment before it was cut short by my lips. I kissed him softly, tasting the remaining traces of chap stick on his lips. He opened his mouth permitting me to enter, but the moment didn't call for it, so I only lightly traced his bottom lip with tongue before pulling away.

“I love you, Adam.”

“I love you too, Tommy Joe.”

Tommy shimmied back down my body, again resting his head in the center of my chest. If I had my way, we would stay like this forever, skin-to-skin under the moonlight, enjoying each others bodies and company until the sun broke on the horizon. Unfortunately, we both knew it had to end, and all too soon. In the morning, my family would be leaving, going back home, and my summer with Tommy would be just a memory.

“I'm going to miss you,” Tommy breathed out in what sounded like hushed sobs. “You're the only person I can be myself with.”

I pulled Tommy closer. It broke my heart to see him so openly hurting. In the six weeks I'd known him, he'd always been the strong alpha type. I wasn't familiar with this raw, vulnerable Tommy, and it was eating at my heart.

“You can be anything with me.” I gripped his small frame tightly to my body, unwilling to let go. I could feel the slight tremors tear through him. I knew he was trying to hide his tears from me, so I just held him until his breathing evened out.

When Tommy calmed down, it was much later. The air was chilled to the point that body heat was no longer sufficient, and the waves were crashing a melody against the shore. I pulled the blankets I had brought over our bodies and tucked Tommy into me. H'd been quiet for sometime, I thought d fallen asleep. But then he rustled under the blankets and looked up at me with swollen sad eyes.

“Adam?” he asked. My heart sank with the almost pitiful way he said my name. 

“Yes, Angel.”

“I was thinking.”

“Go on.”

“If this is our last night together, I want to make it special.”

“Is that so?” I asked, carding my hand through this thick blond mane.

“Yes.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Tommy shifted again as if too nervous to ask. I ran my fingers down his spine in a gesture that would let him know he didn't need to be apprehensive. He relaxed almost instantly.

“Make love to me, Adam.”

I staggered in a breath. I wasn't expecting those words to come out of his mouth. We'd fooled around on several occasions, but had never even talked about taking that step.

“Tommy, are you...”

“Yes,” he cut me off.

“But we...you...”

Tommy sat up straight, so he was able to look me squarely in the face. “Look, Adam. I've been thinking about this a lot. I love you, and tomorrow you'll be gone. Who knows if I'll ever see you again.”

“That's not enough of a reason to jump into bed,” I said, trying to reason, even though every nerve in my body was screaming at the idea of sex with Tommy.

Tommy rolled his eyes at me. “I've always envisioned my first time being with a girl I didn't even care about just to get it over with, or fill some status quo.” Tommy had told me in one of our long, late night conversations that he was known as somewhat of a playboy at his school, and there was a certain image he had to carry to hide his true self. “But here you are, Adam. Right fucking in front of me, warm and soft and beautiful and in love with me! How awesome of a memory would it be to lose it to your first love?”

Tommy's puppy dog eyes were beginning to cloud my judgment. I was actually considering his offer. “Tommy, we have plenty of great memories.”

“But not that one. You leave tomorrow, Adam. I love you, and I may never see you again. That tears my heart out. Tomorrow you're gone, and I'm back to pretending. I want something to hold on to. A piece of you to remind me that the pretending is worth it.” Tommy was beginning to tear up again.

“Don't cry, Angel,” I said, cupping his face in my hands and kissing him deeply. He immediately relaxed under my touch and opened his mouth granting me entrance. I licked into his mouth, tasting him, memorizing the feel. I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it too. All of my reservations melted away with Tommy's heartfelt confession.

Coming up for air, I looked into his eyes and smiled. “May I have the honor of being your first, Tommy Joe?” I meant for it to sound romantic, but by the giggle that escaped Tommy's lips, I think I failed.

“That was...” Tommy trailed off into a giggle again.

“Hopelessly romantic?” I raised my eyebrows trying to look innocent and charming. 

“I was going to say cheesy,” Tommy said, leaning forward to cover my lips with his in a brief kiss. “But coming from you, it was also romantic.”

I gave Tommy my best shy smile, batting my eyelashes at him playfully. He teasinly shoved at my chest, shaking his head at my silliness.

Turning my gaze back to serious, I looked Tommy in the eyes and asked again, but without the cheese factor. “Tommy, may I be your first?”

Tommy looked back at me, his gaze penetrating to my very core, making me shake with anticipation. He had no idea what those eyes could do to me. They were most definitely working their magic tonight. He leaned in closer, close enough that his breath ghosted over my lips with his simple one word answer. “Yes.”

With that one simple word, I had Tommy on his back, my lips tracing a path along his jaw to his collarbone and back. He moaned softly under me, using his hand to bring my face to his.

“Adam?” he asked, stroking the longer hairs that were hanging in my eyes.

“Yes, Angel?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Forever?” Tommy's eyes searched mine.

“Always and forever, Angel.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

 

1 ½ years later.

I was frantically racing around the kitchen, trying to make sure everything was in place for my first day at my new school. It was bad enough my dad's job relocated us across the country, but to have to start a new school half way through senior year was even worse.

“Adam, calm down Honey, it won't be that bad,” my mother said in her best reassuring voice. I loved that she always tried to help me, but she just doesn't get it. What mother would?

“Mom, thanks, but it WILL be that bad. I'm not exactly the cool kid who makes friends easily.” I looked down at my very non conformist appearance: jeans and a band tee, eyeliner, chemically challenged hair, and freckles that looked out of place. I wasn't a nerd or an outcast, but I tended to make people uncomfortable.

My mom just rolled her eyes at me. I sighed knowing full and well she would never see me as others did, so I just smiled and grabbed my lunch from the counter. “Bye, Mom. See you later.”

The drive to my new school was short, giving me no time to dwell on being the new kid. It did however make me think of Tommy. Driving along the beachfront roads mere miles from where I'd spent the best summer of my life.

There hasn't been a day since that summer I haven't thought about Tommy Joe. The was he looked, the way he smelled, the way he giggled under his breath, even his voice haunted my everything. I'd tried to stay in touch. I'd written letters, but they'd never been returned. I spent many heartbroken weeks, but a part of me knew that night we said goodbye was the last time I'd ever speak to him.

My Tommy Joe. My Angel. I wondered what he was doing now? Was he still hiding himself? Was he happy? Did he ever think about me? I knew unless his family moved, Tommy lived nearby. I could find him. Lord knows I would love to see his beautiful face again. I've never stopped loving him, but I knew finding Tommy wasn't a good idea. What we had was beautiful, but obviously he'd moved on.

I sighed at the memories, but pulled myself together once I reached school. “Here we go, Adam.” I gave myself a pep talk as I walked inside. The students here looked the same, clumps of boys and girls separated out into cliques. Under a giant tree that sat in front of the school was a group of boys and girls talking and laughing among themselves. Walking into the school was a group carrying instrument cases.

Once inside the door, I was met by a swinging arm of a very animated blond boy in the middle of a story. The group he was talking to snickered as his arm made contact with my gut.

“Watch it,” the blond huffed.

“S...Sorry,” I said, scurrying off quickly toward the office. I wasn't looking to make any enemies my first day.

The secretary in the office wasn't very helpful. She handed me a pile of papers and then walked off and never returned. I realized the beginning of a semester was chaotic, but how the hell was I supposed to know where I was going?

“First day?” I heard a voice and turned my head to see a pretty redhead smiling at me.

“Yes,” I answered back politely.

“Frenchie.”

“Adam.”

“Nice to meet you, Adam,” Frenchie said with a mega watt smile. “Here, let me see your schedule.”

I handed my schedule to Frenchie, and she began to read it intently. After a moment, she looked up, her bright eyes hard to see past. “You have first, third, and sixth period with me. Come on, I'll show you to class.”

“Thanks,” I said as she took my hand and pulled me out the door.

We chatted on our way to class. She asked me where I had moved from, and if I liked the ocean front. Nothing too intrusive, but she definitely seemed interested in getting to know me. I smiled at the thought. Only ten minutes and I've made a friend already.

“Here we are,” Frenchie said. “Come on. You can sit with me.”

“Okay,” I said with a smile. Maybe this school wouldn't be so bad after all. 

The first half of the day flew by. Most of it was a typical boring school day, made better by the fact that I had found a friend in Frenchie. She was fun and animated, ready and willing to talk about any topic. She danced to the beat of her own drummer, so to speak, and I felt warm admiration for the bubbly girl already.

“Come on, Adam. I'll introduce you to the rest of the girls,” Frenchie said, taking my hand and dragging me through the cafeteria. I was hungry and really wanted to grab an apple or something, but this girl was on a mission, and I was along for the ride.

We turned the corner and approached the table where the girls sat. All were very different in appearance, some would say polar opposites, but they were chatting and laughing in a way that only life long friends could.

“Girls,” Frenchie said with a smile. “I'd like you to meet Adam. It's his first day.”

The girls gave me a once over, studying my appearance, trying to figure me out with their eyes.

“Adam, this is Marti.” I nodded and smiled at the voluptuous brunette she introduced as Marti. Marti was beautiful, poised, and gave off a loud vibe of high maintenance.

“Hi,” she said non commitally.

Frenchie continued. “And this is Jan.”

“Hiya, Adam,” Jan said, holding her hand out for me to shake. I took her hand in a firm grasp and smiled shyly.

“Hi.”

“Wow! Look at all those freckles!” she said, a little louder than necessary.

I involuntarily tried to cover my speckled skin. “Ah, yeah. You caught me. Ginger in hiding.”

Frenchie perked up. “You dye your hair? It looks so natural. Who does it?”

“I do, actually,” I said sheepishly.

“I'm going to beauty school after graduation. If you ever want help, to experiment or anything...” Frenchie trailed off leaving the offer dangling.

“Of course,” I assured, though the thought of experimentation did not sound like fun.

Frenchie beamed at my acceptance of her offer. I smiled, loving her simple excitement.

Behind me someone cleared their throat. I turned around to see the last girl giving me a sly grin. She was pretty, with short curly hair and a bad girl vibe. “Aren't you going to introduce me?”

Frenchie rolled her eyes in the girl's direction before turning back to me. “Adam, this is Rizzo. Don't mind her; she's just looking at the new shiny toy.”

Rizzo shot Frenchie a death glare before looking back at me, her eyes intense and making me slightly uncomfortable under her gaze. “So what brings you to our little slice of paradise?”

“My dad's job relocated.” Rizzo's eyes were following the moment of my lips.

“Lucky for us.” I wasn't sure if she was flirting or trying to make me uncomfortable, but either way I was officially creeped out. I took the opportunity to excuse myself and went to get some food. My stomach was rumbling, and if I was going to go back to that table and face the twenty questions from Rizzo I knew were coming, I need sustenance.

I kept it light, a bowl of soup and a banana. As I approached the table, all eyes were on me. Not just from Frenchie and the girls, but the whole cafeteria. I was the new guy, fresh meat, and for now the most interesting topic of conversation.

I sat down at the table, ignoring all the eyes except for the ones currently in my little round hemisphere. The silence was noticeable, and not knowing anything about the girls surrounding me, I was at a loss for conversation. Thankfully Rizzo broke the silence.

“So, Adam, did you have to leave someone special behind?” I gave Rizzo this much, she got to the point. I knew what she was probing for, but unfortunately for her, she was a twig and berries short of getting my attention. I decided to humor her anyway.

“No.”

“A knockout like you? There's no way you didn't have your pick of the crop.”

I smiled, blushing slightly at her compliment. I may not fancy the female persuasion, but a compliment, no matter who it is from. “I'm kinda saving myself for someone.”

Marti perked up. “You're a virgin?” As if that would be a suprise.

“No. I'm not.” I sighed,dramatically as I began to think of Tommy again. His lips, his skin, our limbs tangled in a passion and love so strong that I've never been able to look at anyone else without comparing them to my Angel. “I just...” I sigh again.

“That is a sigh of a love sick man,” Jan cooed, taking a bite of her granola bar.

“Look at his face, He's totally in love!” Marti chimed.

“Oh, Adam! Tell us, please?” Frenchie pleaded, obviously loving a good romantic story. I glanced at Rizzo, who looked disinterested now.

I'd never talked about Tommy to anyone, and the thought was a little scary, but once I started I was unable to stop. “I'm in love. I found my soul mate two summers ago, on a beach not far from here. We spent six magical weeks together, and then I went home.”

Rizzo caught my brief synopsis and asked the first obvious question. “You said two summers ago...and six weeks. Are you saying it ended that summer?”

“Yes,” I said in a defeated tone.

“Then why are you still hung up? Why haven't you moved on? It was just a summer fling.”

I crinkled my nose at Rizzo's questions. It wasn't just a summer fling; it was love. “It was more than a summer fling. We knew it had to end that summer, but we promised to find each other once we were both eighteen.”

“How romantic,” Frenchie sing-songed.

“And you really think that'll happen? You'll see each other again after two years and just fall into each others arms like no time's passed?” Rizzo asked, the cynicism not lost in her voice.

“I have to believe it,” I said, my only explanation, because honestly, she was right. Tommy may have, and probably has moved on.

“Why don't you just play the field while you're waiting?” Marti asked. She'd been listening intently, but not imputing much. “I'm sure Rizzo could help you find a willing participant.”

Rizzo shot a death glare at Marti and kicked her under the table. Marti yelped, and flipped off her friend. All the girls broke out in giggles which in turn led me to chuckle as well. I liked these girls. They were growing on me fast. I sighed as I gained my composure enough to answer Marti's question.

“I don't want to play the field. It would tarnish the perfect reunion I have in my head.”

“What if you reunite and nothing's there?” Jan asked.

“It's a chance I'm willing to take.”

“But why?”

Without thinking, I answered, “Because I promised I'd save him.” It was out of my mouth before I realized my slip up. I don't hide my sexuality, but I just met these girls, and I wasn't going to mention it yet. All my thoughts and talk of Tommy had my mind twisted. I looked around the table at four sets of stunned eyes. It was a few moments before anyone spoke.

“He?” Rizzo questioned.

I shrugged my shoulders as if to say it was a non issue.

“Burn,” Jan said, throwing a french fry at Rizzo. Rizzo angrily batted it down.

“So...you said it was a beach close to here. Is he local?” Frenchie asked.

“Yes. Unless he moved.”

Her eyes brightened. “So you could find him now? Why wait? We could help you.”

I thought about it for a split second before shaking my head. “No. I can't.” 

“Why? You're so close.”

“It would just make his life harder. He had to hide who he is. If I went to him now, it might ruin his life. I have to wait until I'm sure he's free to be himself,” I said sadly.

“That's tragic,” Jan said with a sympathetic smile.

Another few minutes passed in silence. I was reliving my most intimate memories with girls I barely knew, but it was somehow relaxing, like I finally lifted an ache from my heart, at least the ache of not being able to share my greatest joy and greatest fear before.

“I hope you find him, and he's waiting for you too,” Rizzo said between gritted teeth. She was obviously trying to make nice after her public display of flirtation.

“Thanks.”

“So what's his name? What's he like?”

This I could answer. I would be able to describe Tommy in perfect detail if it'd been twenty years as opposed to eighteen months. “He's beautiful. Inside and out. Small, blond, feminine and masculine at the same time. Big brown eyes I got lost in. He was sweet, funny, feisty...but underneath it all, he had the biggest heart. Tommy Joe Ratliff. My Angel.”

There was a collective gasp from all four girls. “I knew it!” Marti said, like she'd cracked the code that solved world hunger. Again she yelped as someone kicked her under the table. I looked at everyone confused.

“Knew what?”

 

Tommy's POV

Here I was again, in my usual spot-the bleachers next to the practice field, waiting for my friends. Fake friends more like it. Not really. In all reality, I was the fake one. I was the one lying to their faces everyday.

They were good guys, loyal friends to the Tommy they knew. But would they still be loyal friends if they knew the real me?

I sighed defeatedly, and shucked my leather jacket off my shoulders. It was warm out today, and the direction of the wind was bringing in the scent of the ocean. The ocean. I'd avoided the beach since that summer. The memories are too torturous to bear. I'd been free that summer, a brief moment in time that I could actually be myself and shed the facade that had become a second skin. I'd fallen in love. Adam's face and touch haunted my dreams, and his promise to find me once we were both eighteen and free lined those dreams with hope.

I shook the thought from my head as I saw the first of my friends approaching. I hadn't even kept in touch with Adam. For a while, Adam had sent letters, but I'd been scared to answer. The letters had eventually stopped, but I'd kept everyone of them, and still held on to hope that Adam hadn't given up on me.

I sighed, but quickly returned to my facade as Sonny ascended the steps. “Hey, fucker,” I said in way of greeting.

“Douche,” he said back. Sonny had a bright and bubbly kind of personality. He was only an inch taller than me and a bit on the chunky side. His attitude was infectious, and it made it hard to be in a bad mood when Sonny was around. Unless you were Kenickie. 

“How was your break?” Sonny asked as he plopped down on the bleachers.

“Same ole'...” I trail off, leaving the answer up for interpretation. The truth, that I'd spent it pining for love and jerking off to men on motorcycles, was too much for my friends to bear.

Sonny smiled knowingly. “Gettin' freaky! Tommy you dog! Who's the lucky skank this time?”

“No one you know,” I said noncommittally. Lying had become second nature. I was just thankful my friends have never caught on to my deception. They've never questioned why I never date any of the girls I supposedly sleep with, never asked for pictures or details. Because of this, I've become known as a playboy, master banger of the female persuasion. I hated lying, but it was better this way for everyone. It was better that the school and my friends think of me as a womanizer than knew the truth, that my sexual experience consisted of one hot summer with a boy.

“What's up, losers.” I heard the familiar voice coming from under the bleachers. Kenickie looked up through the bleachers, cigarette hanging from his lips.

Kenickie had been my best friend, my wing man since kindergarten. Any trouble I'd ever been in, Kenickie had been right there with me. Like when we were eleven and stuck fake money into a coin machine at the arcade. It'd been my idea to see if we could get real money. To my surprise it had worked. We'd spent the whole day at the arcade having the time of our lives. Unfortunately, neither of us had been smart enough to realize it was a one time thing. The next day we'd gone back and got caught. I'd cried like a baby, while Kenickie had just sat there with a little smirk on his face.

“Hey, Kenickie”

“What's up, Kenick.”

Kenickie climbed the bleachers two at a time, until he was up to our level.

“Chillinin like a villain,” he said with a smirk.k.

Sonny rolled his eyes. “Lame.”

“You would know,” Kenickie said as he put out his cigarette. “Where have you to been all day? I have no classes with anyone this semester.”

“Maybe you would if you weren't still in Freshman classes,” Sonny chided.

Kenickie grunted in disapproval. This was all part of the typical daily banter. From the outside, one would think we hated each other, but to those who knew us, they knew it's our form of affection.

“Fuck you, Sonny. I failed one class! I get decent grades.”

'If you were in Special Ed.” Putzy had snuck up behind Kenickie, and he jumped slightly, startled by Putzy's close proximity.

Kenickie turned on his heal, and pushed Putzy hard on the shoulder. “I don't see you on the Dean's list Kenickie.”

Putzy looked as if he were about to say something, but closed his mouth when no snappy comeback come to him.

“That's what I thought,” Kenickie said with a triumphant smirk.

Sonny piped up to break the tension. “Did ya hear? Tommy boy's been at it again.”

Oh fuck. Now that Sonny opened his big mouth, I was going to have to come up with something more than just 'the usual.' Thankfully they never asked for details.

“Alright, Tommy. Bagged another babe!” Putzy said, holding his hand out for a high five. I reached forward until our hands slapped together, totally lacking the enthusiasm Putzy had put forth.

“Yep,” I said.

Kenickie looked at me quizzically, which in turn made me a bit squirmy. He was going to ask something that required details, I could tell, and I wasn't prepared to answer.

“What gives, Tommy?” Kenickie asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked back, giving my best oblivious face, even though I knew where this was going. 

Kenickie studied my face as if looking for the answer before he continued. “You bang all these girls, but you never date them. Hell, we've never even met one of them. They all go to different schools.”

“So.”

“So, something's off. You don't brag either. Hell, you know every detail of my sex life.”

“I don't kiss and tell.”

Kenickie huffed. “Bullshit. Every guy kisses and tells.”

I was beginning to sweat. I'd known this day would come, but I'd hoped it would come after graduation when the pointed fingers and ridicule wouldn't matter. “What do you want to know.”

“Are you really fucking all these girls?”

“Jesus, Kenickie Why would he lie about that?” Sonny asked, disbelief written all over his face. 

Kenickie looked at Sonny then back at me, still searching my face for answers. “He hasn't been himself for quite some time. In fact, you've been different ever since that summer you spent at the beach. Since that summer, you refuse to set foot on the beach and turn me down when I ask you to prowl with me.” 

I sighed. I so badly wanted to tell the truth, but knew I couldn't. They wouldn't understand.

“Tommy,” Kenickie said, irritation replaced by concern that something serious maybe going on. “You're my best friend. You know you can tell me anything. What's going on with you?”

Unable to take another second of the pleading in his eyes, I blurted out, “I'm in love.” As quickly as I said it, I slapped my hand over my mouth, as if that would take the words back.

Three sets of eyes zeroed in on me like deer in headlights. I tried not to squirm under their shocked gazes, managing to look nonchalant as I shifted on my feet. 

“Holy fucking shit,” Putzy said in breathless shock. “Tommy Joe Ratliff is in love?”

Was it that unbelievable? I mean, I realized my reputation as a playboy was somewhat legend, but come on. I wasn't an emotional invalid. I glared at Putzy with irritation. “What? Is it that hard to believe?”

Putzy looked down sheepishly. “No. It's just...you're fucking infamous, man.”

I rolled my eyes. Kenickie clearly picked up on my annoyance and interjected. “Since when?”

“That summer.”

“That explains a lot,” Kenickie smiled in understanding. I loved that he knew me so well...well part of me anyway. “Tell me about her.”

“Yeah, Tommy. Tell us about the girl that snagged the heart of Riddell's number one playboy,” Sonny chirped happily.

“Not much to tell.”

“Come on, Tommy. What's she look like?” Putzy asked.

“Beautiful.”

“Details, Ratliff.”

I rolled my eyes again. I wasn't going to get out of this one with vagueness. “Dark hair, piercing blue eyes, freckles covering every inch of skin, legs for miles.”

“Sounds hot,” Kenickie said. “But not unlike any other girl. What makes this one different?”

I took a moment to think about my answer. What made Adam special besides the obvious? “Saw through my bullshit.”

That must have been enough, because all three nodded in agreement. I breathed a sigh of relief. I'd dodged a bullet...again.

“Where is she now?” Putzy asked. Well I'd almost dodged a bullet.

“Gone.” I did a shitty job at keeping the heartache and longing off my face, because Kenickie gave me a knowing look.

“Is that why you avoid the beach?”

I gave Kenickie a half hearted smile. “Too many memories. We promised we'd find each other after graduation.”

“Do you know where she is?” Sonny asked.

“No,” I answered, looking off into the distance.

“Then how are you going to-” Putzy was cut off by as slap to the back of the head. I was thankful that Kenickie sensed that I was finished talking. There were several minutes of awkward silence. I sipped a coke while the guys ate their lunch. The silence was nice. It gave me a chance to clear my thoughts of Adam and our summer together, and the ideas of being together one day.

“Did any of you see the new guy?” Kenickie asked breaking the silence.

“No,” I said.

“I have a class with him,” Putzy said with animation. “Total freak.”

“Yeah, I know. Did you see the eyeliner? Pretty sure he's a queer,” Kenickie added with a snort.

I looked at Kenickie with a glower. “Was that necessary?”

“What?”

I huffed. Sometimes my friends are so dense. If only they knew I was an eyeliner wearing queer.

“Oh, well. I'm sure you'll see him soon enough,” Kenickie said as the bell rang signaling lunch was over.

The guys dispersed from the bleachers in the direction of their classes. While still in earshot, Sonny turned and shouted, “We still on for tonight?”

“Same time, same place,” I said, raising my hand in a semi-wave and headed toward my next class.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Star Bowl. Where all the cool kids hung out. I wasn't sure when or how bowling became a popular pasttime for the youth of America, but in my little slice of America, it was all the rave. Most of the students at Riddell bowled in the high school leagues, myself included. The T-birds have been league champions for five years running. This year I didn't intend to break the record.

“Tommy!” Putzy yelled across the alley, holding alley shoes in one hand, his ball bad in the other. We took turns each week paying for shoes. This weeks was Putzy's week. I probably could have just bought my shoes, but bowling was not something I planned on purusing after high school, so I dealt with the alley shoes.

“Hey, Putz.”

“Who we bowling tonight?”

“Pink Ladies,” I said after checking the papers. The Pink Ladies were our female equivalent at school, and out biggest competition on the lanes. They consisted of Frenchie, Marti, Jan, and Rizzo. They were all good girls, well except maybe Rizzo, who still had it out for me for refusing to sleep with her last year. I'd dated her briefly for image purposes but balked when it came to sex. I'd made the mistake of telling her I couldn't sleep with someone who'd open her legs for half the school. She'd punched me in the eye, and then told everyone she'd broke up with me because I was a bad lay. I hadn't corrected her for obvious reasons. It didn't matter. She was enough of a slut that no one took her words to heart. My reputation as a lady killer had remained intact.

“Alright. Marti in tight pants, shaking that fine ass all night,” Sonny said, plopping down on the hard bench.

I laughed. Sonny's had it bad for Marti since seventh grade, but she's never paid him any attention. “Sonny, you know you have no chance man. She only dates older guys.” 

“I am an older guy. By two months.”

“With the mentality of a two year old,” Kenickie laughed loudly.

“And the equipment too,” I added, pointing at my crotch just to be an asshole.

“Haha,” Sonny snapped sarcastically, throwing a wadded up wrapper at my head.

Just then Marti walked up. “Hi boys,” she said, smiling as she walked past Sonny to the ball return. She sat her bag on the floor and proceeded to bend over to retrieve her ball from the bag. Like Sonny had said, she was wearing tight blue leggings, and by the look of it, nothing underneath. With a small wiggle, she picked up the ball in her bag and placed it on the ball return.

Sonny let out an audible moan. I understood the rituals of male/female attraction, even though I didn't feel the vibe. I, myself, preferred a guy covered in head to toe leather with a hot piece of metal between his thighs. With the exception of Adam of course. Now if I ever saw Adam in leather on a bike, I'd probably lose my shit.

Shaking myself out of my pervy thoughts, I finished putting on my shoes. Now was not the time to think about Adam. I needed to focus on bowling, and winning.

I looked up and saw the rest of the girls approaching. Putzy walked over and gave Jan a kiss on the cheek. I wasn't sure, but I thought they are secretly dating. To the outside, they just looked like best friends.

Frenchie smiled her huge, happy smile at everyone, while Rizzo leered at me evilly. She always gave me weird looks, but this one was different, like she knew something I didn't. It was making me uncomfortable.

“Looking good, Rizzo,” Kenickie said from over my shoulder.

“You know it,” she said, still leering at me. I wanted to vomit.

“Hey, Tommy. What have you been up to?” she asked, sarcasm and accusation laced in her words.

“Same ole,” I said, trying to sound unaffected. She wasn't only making me uncomfortable but pissing me off as well.

“What exactly does that mean, Tommy Joe?” she asked with an almost sinister grin, as she walked past me to talk to Kenickie

What the hell did she mean by that? There was no way she knew my secret. No one could. She was just being a bitch. When was she going to stop being bloodthirsty for revenge? I didn't have time to ponder that question because the loud speaker announced it was time to bowl.

Two games and nine frames down, and we were barely ahead. To secure the win, I had to bowl three strikes in my tenth frame. I had already bowled two, and I was standing on the approach looking at the pins. I had this in the bag. I steadied my breathing, lined up my feet, and focused on the pins. I began to move...one step, two steps, three steps, swing...and that's when it happened. A voice I never thought I'd hear again flooded my ears, and my ball lofted straight into the gutter.

“Sorry I'm late. My mom made me do the dishes before I could leave.” I almost fell over. It couldn't be. There was no way.

“What the fuck, Tommy?” You just fucking blew the game.”

I turned slowly, afraid of what I would see. “Sorry, thumb stuck,” I said as my eyes locked with his. Oh, my God. It was him. Adam. He was here, standing right in front of me. I felt like I was going to faint.

“Tommy?” he asked, in almost a whisper. The shock was apparent on his face. His face...his beautiful face I thought I'd never see again. The shock slowly left his face, and was replaced by a mega bright smile. Before I had time to react, Adam had closed the distance between us and wrapped me in an all encompassing hug.

I froze. As much as I'd longed to feel his arms again, I didn't want it here or now, in front of all my friends who didn't know the real me.

“It's really you,” he said faintly.

“Yeah, it's me,” I said, trying to pull away. Adam looked at me confused for a moment, then understanding flashed in his eyes. He backed away a step.

“Hey, Tommy, you know this queer?” Kenickie asked. I saw Adam flinch at the derogatory remark.

I rolled my eyes and turned to Kenickie “What did I tell you before? Knock it off. And yes, I know him.”

“How?” Putzy asked.

“Remember what I told you about my summer romance?” I asked. All three shook their heads in unison. “Adam is...” I thought for a moment. “The brother.”

Adam gave me a hurt but understanding look. I felt like shit for lying. I didn't want him to think I wasn't as happy to see him as he was me, but I was afraid.

“Brother, huh?” Rizzo chimed in as venomous and bitchy as ever. “Of a long lost summer love that none of us have ever heard about until now?”

“I'm private, and it's really none of your business.”

“What's her name?”

“Huh?”

“Her name? What's...her...name?” Rizzo asked again, separating each word.

Shit. I never thought about a name. I had to think fast. “Addy.”

“Addy? Addy and Adam?”

“Yes. We're twins,” Adam stepped up and said, saving me from Rizzo's interrogation.

“Twins. And where is Addy? Why isn't she at school with us?” Rizzo gave Adam that same knowing look. Holy shit! Did she just say he went to our school.

Adam was quick under pressure. “She graduated early. She stayed behind to take some classes at the community college. She's transferring to the University here next semester.”

“Tommy, that means your lady love will be close by,” Sonny said in between making goo goo eyes at Marti.

“Yeah,” I said, slightly defeated. I looked up at Adam, wanting nothing more than to run into his arms, but knowing I couldn't.

Adam must have sensed my heavyheartedness, because he cleared his throat then began to speak. “She also told me, more than once, that she never forgot the promise she made.”

I smiled. He still loved me. He never forgot. He was here to rescue me from my life of lies, and allow me to be free. Only problem was, he was five months early. Graduation wasn't until May. I frowned knowing my love was here and I couldn't be with him.

 

Adam's POV

“This is killing me Frenchie! I don't understand why he's ignoring me!” I said, at my wits end. I'd been a month since I'd seen Tommy at the bowling alley that first time, a month since I'd seen the look on his face that has told me he still loved me. So why was he ignoring me now? I didn't expect him to come running into my arms,especially in front of his friends, but I didn't expect to be ignored either. It was torturous.

“Awe, Sweetie, I wish I knew. Tommy has always been hard to read. Maybe avoidance is easier for him,” Frenchie explained as her hands massaged my scalp. Since my first day at Riddell, Frenchie had become my very best friend, and with that came entrusting her with my hair care. I still wasn't keen on the idea of experimenting, but a root touch up I was pretty sure she could handle. Besides, she was giving me one hell of a scalp massage, so if she screwed up and my hair turned green, I might not be as angry.

“I guess, but everyone thinks I'm the brother. He doesn't have to ignore me.”

“Yeah, but if he loves you as much as it's obvious he does...”

“It's obvious?”

“Oh yeah. It's obvious. To anyone who's looking, anyway. Which means it's probably really hard to pretend around you. It's easier for him to ignore and avoid you.”

“But it's not easier for me Frenchie,” I whined. “I can barely handle it. I don't know if I can last four more months.”

“Then talk to him,” Frenchie said, as if it were the easiest thing in the world. In her defense, it probably did seem like an easy thing, but I hadn't talked to him for almost two years. What would I say?

“And now, when do I do that?”

Frenchie had just finished rinsing my hair and was wrapping a towel around my head. “You could corner him in an empty bathroom or something.”

“What if someone walked in?” I turned to look at Frenchie. The look of desperation on my face had to look pathetic.

Frenchie just looked back with a knowing smile. “The bathrooms at the bowling alley have locks. Follow him in, lock the door and talk to him,” she said as if it were the simplest thing.

It was that simple. I just needed to find the courage to do it. I didn't want to risk exposing Tommy. 

“We bowl tomorrow. Why don't you come along?” she handed me a mirror so I could inspect her work. It looked good, and I nodded in approval, both for the hair and the invitation.

“I'll go, but I'll have to think about talking to Tommy. No guarantees.”

“Fair enough,” she said with smiled. I was glad I met Frenchie. I couldn't have asked for a better friend. “OK, now time for a style.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed, but not before leaning back in the chair and surrendering myself over to Frenchie's able hands.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Frenchie and I arrived at the bowling alley early. I sat at the table picking at my black nail polish as the other bowlers began to arrive. The girls were not bowling against the guys tonight, so I would be able to admire Tommy from afar without being noticed. It also allowed me to keep my mind clear enough to decide if I was going to take Frenchie's advise and corner Tommy in the bathroom for a chat.

Jan was the first to arrive, pulling me out of my thoughts with a slap on the shoulder. “Thinking of Lover boy?” she asked, motioning with her head down the lanes. I looked in the direction she nodded and spotted Tommy four lanes away. He made eye contact quickly and then looked away.

“Don't tell me you're still hung up on that asshole,” Rizzo said as she plopped down beside me. She had mellowed out since I first met her. Once it had sunk in that Tommy didn't shun her because she was a slut, it was actually because he was gay, she'd stopped being a bitch to him. She'd actually became a pretty good friend to me too. “Move on, Adam. You deserve better than someone who won't give you the time of day.”

“He still loves me.”

Rizzo rolled her eyes. “He has a shitty way of showing it. Who cares what those buffoons think. If he loves you, he should march right over here and tell you in front of everyone.”

“He can't,” I said in almost a whisper. I understand her reasoning, but I understand his as well.

“Bullshit. He doesn't deserve you.”

“I'm willing to wait.”

“I think it's romantic,” Marti said, coming up behind us and putting her stuff down on the floor. “You're like a present day knight in shining armor waiting in the wings to rescue your damsel in distress.”

“I fully intend to rescue him.”

Rizzo began to laugh hysterically. “Tommy is hardly a damsel in distress. He brought this all on himself. He's a liar and a phony.”

Frenchie, who had been silent the whole time, spoke up. “Not by choice...more like by circumstance,” she added. 

“What circumstance? Being a pussy?”

I chuckled slightly at Rizzo's blissful ignorance. She was such a headstrong young woman; she couldn't fathom the idea that coming out was actually difficult.

“Coming out is a lot harder than anything I've ever done, even harder than not being with Tommy. He's not a pussy,” I said coming to Tommy's defense as well as giving a small explanation to Rizzo.

She just rolled her eyes at me and turned to put her bowling shoes on. “He's still an asshole.”

“Nah. Chicken maybe,” Jan said, biting into a chicken finger.

“You are what you eat. Wouldn't that make you a chicken, Jan?” Marti said as she filed a nail.

“I didn't eat lunch,” Jan said as she stuffed another chicken finger in her mouth. Marti and Rizzo poked fun at Jan about her weight all the time, but it never seemed to bother Jan. She would just say that Putzy liked her extra 'cushion' and that was that. I wished I had that much confidence in my appearance. Though I wasn't not chunky, I used to be, and I dyed my hair. Nobody likes a ginger.

“Hey Marti. How are you this wonderful evening?” Sonny came up behind Marti, holding out a white rose for her to take. She accepted it, obviously liking the attention but at the same time, brushing Sonny off in her usual way. “Awe, thanks Sonny.”

“You're welcome,” Sonny was all smiles. His face was bright red as he walked away in the direction of his lane. 

Sonny seemed like a nice guy and totally smitten with Marti. I couldn't understand why she blew him off so easily without a second thought. “Sonny really likes you,” I said, opening the topic so I could probe.

“He's been head over heels for Marti since seventh grade,” Jan said.

“Why haven't you ever dated him?

“She only dates older boys. As in NOT in high school.”

“Oh.” That explained a lot. High school boys can be...

Marti let out a loud sigh. “It's not like I haven't thought about it. But I have a reputation that I only date college boys. Maybe I'll finally say yes after graduation.”

“Maybe graduation will be too late,” I said to her, trying to make a realistic point. “Sonny's been waiting a long time. He may not wait forever.”

The ever sympathetic Rizzo perked up at that. “Maybe you should give Lover boy that same speech. May do him some good to hear it.”

Rizzo had a point. Four months was a long time to wait while someone blew you off, Tommy and I were soul mates. I would happily wait four months to be with my Angel. I would wait forever.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
Watching the girls bowl was quite frankly, boring. I enjoyed bowling even though I sucked at it, but just sitting here was sleep inducing. I will admit, the girls were pretty good. They were playing a team of two boys and two girls from a neighboring school and were beating them pretty badly.

For the most part, I didn't pay attention, only looking up when I heard a cheer or loud curse. Instead, I sat with my eyes hidden behind a hat and watched Tommy. He was so adorable when he bowled. He was so tiny and skinny; the ball looked like it overpowered him. His approach was funny too. He did a cute little hop midway through, and then shot at the pins with an air gun once he released the ball. What a dork! My dork. He was a good bowler, but when he missed the mark, the stream of profanities that crossed his lips would make a sailor blush. In a weird way, it was sexy as hell.

Through all three games, he never caught me staring, but I did catch Tommy stealing glances more often than not. At one point, he was staring so long he had to be hit upside the head by Kenickie when it was his turn. If it weren't for the constant glances, I might have chickened out, but now I was determined to corner Tommy and talk to him. The ball was in his court now, so to speak. He had to head to that damn bathroom.

I was beginning to lose hope. All the games were over, and everyone was leaving. Kenickie, Sonny, and Putzy were already gone, as well as Rizzo, Jan, and Marti.

Frenchie and I stayed behind in hopes I would get my chance with Tommy. We chatted by the snack bar, while Tommy was accosted by a trio of bimbos. I recognized the blonde. She went to our school. Tommy flirted back, however he visibly retracted each time one of the girls tried to touch him. After about five minutes, Tommy politely excused himself from the vulture's talons and began to walk toward the men's restroom.

This was it! Here was my chance. Once he was in the bathroom, I turned to Frenchie with wide hopeful eyes. “Wish me luck.”

She smiled and kissed my cheek. “Go get him, Tiger.”

I silently opened the bathroom door, and closed it behind me. Tommy was in the stall, so he was unaware that I'd snuck in. I quietly locked the door, and waited. My stomach was in knots, I wasn't even sure what I wanted to say, but I was excited. I was closer than I'd been to Tommy in two years. He'd be close enough to touch...to kiss...

My thoughts were cut off by the stall door opening. Tommy looked up at me on his way to the sink, not registering who he was looking at. He turned on the water and began washing his hands. I crossed the floor to stand behind him. He was bent over the sink, cute little ass sticking up in the air. That ass. It always did things to me. I felt a tightening in my jeans as Tommy stood up and finally made eye contact with me through the mirror.

“Adam?” Tommy asked, his brown eyes locked on me and beginning their hypnotizing ability.

“Hey,” I said back, lost in his chocolate stare. His eyes held surprise, but underneath it, I could still see that love. The same love they held that summer.

“What...what are you doing in here?”

I looked at him sheepishly. “What does one usually do in the bathroom?”

Tommy looked at me as if to say 'yeah right' and walked past me towards the door.

“Wait!” I yelled desperately, seeing my opportunity getting ready to walk out the door.

“What is it, Adam?” Tommy asked. The look on his face was a mix between torment and heartbreak.

I dug deep for my courage. “Why...why have you been ignoring me?”

The look on Tommy's face turned to guilt in an instant. “I...I'm sorry, Adam.”

“Sorry for what?”

Tommy's head hung low. “I...I just can't do this.”

“Do what, Angel?”

“This. I can't do this with you. I'm sorry.”

My heart sank. He doesn't want me anymore? He didn't love me? I thought I might throw up. I thought Frenchie had been right, that it was too hard for him to keep his feelings secret if he was around me, not this. Not that he didn't want me anymore.

“Tommy...I...You...you don't love me anymore? You don't want me?” I dropped to my knees in shock. This couldn't be happening. I'd never pictured a future without Tommy, and he'd just ripped it out from under me. I couldn't breath. The walls feel like they were closing in. I barely registered Tommy dropping down beside me.

“Adam. Hey. Breathe, Baby. Breathe.”

Wait. Had he just called me Baby?

“You don't love me.”

Tommy lifted his hand and brushed a stray hair from my face. “I didn't say that.”

“What?”

“I didn't say that. I do love you, Adam. I've never stopped.”

I let out a large breath. “You do?”

“Of course.”

“Then why did you...”

Tommy pulled me into his chest. I rested my head under his chin, inhaling deeply. He smelled sweet and sweaty all mixed together. It was a weird position to be in. All those nights we had spent together, it was always Tommy curled into me. This felt nice. Different, but nice. 

“I didn't mean I couldn't do us. I meant I can't handle being around you. Knowing you're right fucking here, and I can't be with you.”

I lifted my head to look at him. “Really?”

Tommy laughed. “Yes, really.”

I didn't mean to do it, it just happened. I smashed my lips to his in a desperate need for contact...his contact. It was clumsy and awkward at first but slowly fell into a rhythm that was familiar and perfect. 

Tommy's mouth tasted just as I remembered. I pushed at his lips with my tongue, and Tommy easily and without hesitation opened to accept my intrusion. I licked in, caressing his tongue with mine in the way I remembered he liked. Tommy was very responsive, moaning into my mouth.

A few moments of passionate kissing, and my hand began to roam. After almost two years without his touch, I wanted nothing more than to explore Tommy's perfect body again.

Tommy stiffened as my hand reached under the hem of his shirt, and he pulled back, breathless. “Someone...could...walk in,” he said between panting breaths.

I just smiled and kissed him again. “Locked the door.”

Tommy pulled back again, looking at me a bit stunned before a giant grin slid across his face. “Clever boy,” he said and leaned back into my mouth.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Unapologetic-ally exposed and sated on the bowling alley bathroom floor, Tommy and I lay in contented silence. Two years had been too long, and as I stared into his love filled eyes, I didn't know how I would survive the next four months without him.

“So will I get to talk to you again before graduation?” I asked with hope, though I already knew his answer.

The sadness once again took over Tommy's delicate features. “No.”

“I don't want to live without you, Angel. Haven't we waited long enough?”

“It's just a little longer, Baby. Four months and then it's you and me forever.”

I dropped my head to shield a tear that was threatening to leak from the corner of my eye. It didn't go unnoticed as Tommy reached up and wiped the unwanted moisture away with his thumb.

“Hey. It'll be alright. You can do this. We can do this.”

I knew I could do it. I just didn't want to. It was torture of the worst kind. I sniffled and let out a small chuckle. “Look at me. I'm supposed to be the strong one.”

Tommy took my face in his hands and kissed my forehead before leaning his own into me. “You are the strong one.”

I pulled away. “No I'm not! Look at me! I'm whining and crying about four months!”

“Adam,” Tommy said, placing his hand in mine. “You're so much stronger than I am. You took care of ME all summer. You gave me everything I wanted. You wrote me letter after beautiful letter for months, and I never returned a single damn one!”

“You had your reasons.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “It's called I was being a chicken shit Adam. Then you show up here at Riddell, of all places, and you still love me and want to be with me. And what do I do? I ignore you. And what do you do? You keep loving me, unconditionally, even when I tell you that you have to wait another four months to talk to and be with me again.”

“It's because I love you. I'll wait for you as long as it takes.”

“That's my point, Adam,” Tommy said, looking me in the eyes with more love than I'd ever seen. “You're strong because you put up with my shit when you should just walk away. I don't deserve you.”

I looked at Tommy,momentarily shocked, before pulling him into my arms. “Don't ever say that! I deserve you, and you deserve me. You are my soul mate.”

Tommy, small but sweetly. “And you're mine.”

We kissed again, slow and sweet, since the tension had been released. Unfortunately, it was cut short by a knock on the door. “Anybody in there?”

“I guess it's time to go,” I said rather sadly.

“Yeah.”

I smiled. “I'll see you at Graduation then. I'll be the Knight in shining armor, waiting to rescue my damsel.”

Tommy chuckled. “Only if that Knight's shining armor is black leather, and his trusty stead is made of steel and rubber.”

Tommy then winked, unlocked the door, and quickly left, leaving me standing in the middle of the bathroom with a goofy grin on my face. At least now I knew what I'd be doing for the next four months.

 

Tommy's POV

Today's the day. It's finally here. Graduation. I wasn't able to sleep last night, all thoughts on Adam and what exactly he had planned for the big day. I hadn't spoken to him since the night in the bowling alley bathroom, with the exception of a single text sent exactly eight hours ago.

Are you ready to ride off into the sunset, Angel?

That single statement had my heart and stomach in knots. What was he planning? Knowing Adam, it was big. I was excited, and terrified all at once. My excitement revolved around the fact that finally, after all this time, I'd get to be with Adam. There would be no more hiding. I no longer had to be fearful of daily ridicule and torment. That environment would be gone in just a few hours. My only fear, the only thing that worried me, was the reaction of my friends. I was realistic enough to know not everyone in my life would be accepting of my sexuality, but I really hoped my friends weren't part of that group. I loved my friends genuinely, and the thought of any of them not accepting me clawed at my heart. Especially Kenickie. He'd been my best friend since Kindergarten. I'd be heartbroken if I lost my best friend.

It was a chance I had to, and was willing to, take. Adam was, and would always be, worth it.

I rolled over on my bed and looked at the clock. 6:45. Ugh. Time was going by so slowly. Maybe Kenickie would be up. He was normally a morning person, well, at least when it was beneficial to him, and I'm pretty sure graduating fit that bill.

I typed out a quick text, then headed to the bathroom. Maybe a shower would make the time go by more quickly. I stripped, and stood under the hot pulsating stream in record time. The heat and massaging shower head felt good on my tight muscles, but not good enough. I was still tense, and too keyed up. I sighed, defeated by my inability to relax. I finished washing and made an ungraceful exit from the tub.

With a loud bang, I hit my foot on the tub, tripped, and landed face first on the floor, smashing a testicle in the process.

“Motherfucker!” I yelled out to an empty room. Now I was tired, tense, and had a sore ball sack. Great. I picked myself up off the floor and padded back to my room.

I rummaged through my closet, picking out something nice to wear for commencement, and began to towel dry my hair. I had to look good for Adam, but graduation wasn't until 3:00, so I'd worry about my hair later.

I grabbed my phone and checked the messages. One incoming from Kenickie.

Yep. I'm up. What's up?

Bored. Too early to come over?

Nope. Just bring some coffee.

Be there in a few.

I finished getting dressed, grabbed my keys and wallet, and headed out the door.

It was a gorgeous day out. I looked at my motorcycle and smiled sadly. My motorcycle was my second love. Only Adam was loved more. My father and I spent an entire year rebuilding it from the ground up. The only time it wasn't purring underneath me was when the weather was bad or I had to pick up something.

“Sorry, Baby, but coffee calls,” I said to my motorcycle as I unlocked the car. I blew it a kiss, and shut the door. The engine came to life, and I quickly drove away.

Twenty minutes and a Starbucks run later, Kenickie and I sipped coffee and talked while his mom made us pancakes in the kitchen.

“I can't believe your mom's making us pancakes,” I said between sips of the bitter liquid in my cup. “I feel like I'm five years old again.”

“I know. She only makes pancakes when you're here. I think she likes you better.”

“I know she does.”

Kenickie whacked me on the head with a throw pillow. I don't know why I chose to sit next to him on the couch instead of a chair across the room. He always throws things at me. 

“I hate you, Tommy Joe,” he huffed.

“You love me.”

“Yeah, I know. Little fucker.”

“Language,” Kenickie's mom said as she left the kitchen and walked toward the back of the house.

“Sorry, Mom.”

I laughed loudly. Kenickie had a hard, tough exterior, but when it came to his mother, he was the biggest softy. A true mamaa's boy.

“So you ready for today?” I asked. Kenickie hated school, I couldn't imagine him being less than thrilled.

“Hell yeah! Four years is long enough,” he said, sipping his coffee slowly.

“No college for you then?”

Kenickie rolled his eyes as if aggravated. “I don't know. I really don't want to, but I know in reality I need to. Gonna take a year or so to think about it first.”

I smiled. Kenickie was much smarter than most gave him credit for, and responsible too. “Gonna stay working at the shop?”

“Yeah. Mr. Peterson said he'd give me more hours, and let me work on some cars.”

“That's awesome, Man.” I was happy for Kenickie. He had a plan. He knew what he wanted and was going to peruse it. I on the other hand, knew what I wanted, what I was going to get, when I was going to get it, but after that...I hadn't a clue. I hoped Adam had formulated a plan in the four months since we last spoke.

“What about you?” Kenickie asked.

“Huh?” I was pulled away from my thoughts of Adam.

“What are your plans?”

“I don't know.”

“Liar. I know you're up to something.”

“Whataya mean?” I tried to pay the dumb card.

Kenickie looked at me sternly, and I could tell he was calling my bluff. “You know damn well what I mean, Tommy Joe. Don't play dumb with me. You haven't been yourself for months- years actually. Since that summer you said you fell in love, but the past few months have been even more so. What's up with you?”

“Nothing.” I looked away, starting to feel uncomfortable under Kenickie's inquisitive gaze. 

“Tommy,” Kenickie almost pleaded, “you know you can tell me anything, right? I won't judge you.”

I took a deep breath. Kenickie had been my best friend through everything. Was it possible he really wouldn't judge me? Maybe I could at least warn him that something big was going to happen. “Kenickie?”

“Yeah.”

“There's something I should probably tell you. You know, so you're not caught off guard when it comes out,” I said in one giant breath.

“Finally,” Kenickie muttered under his breath. I looked at him quizzically before I continued.

“Today, at graduation, something's going to happen that may change the way people feel about me.”

“What's that?” Kenickie asked, finger to his lips.

“I can't say yet, but before it happens I want you to know I love you, man. You're my best friend, and some of my best memories are with you.” I looked down, saddened by the thought of losing my best friend because I loved a boy instead of a girl.

“Why are you talking like after today I'll hate you?”

“Because you may.”

Kenickie looked at me sympathetically. I really wanted to believe that he wouldn't care, but I was scared. “Tommy, What are you planning?”

“Nothing to worry about yet.” I tried to turn away, the uncomfortable redness beginning to fill my cheeks, but Kenickie grabbed my wrist.

“Tommy,” he said, staring a hole through the back of my head. When I didn't respond, his grip tightened. “Tommy, look at me.”

I slowly turned and looked up into his eyes. My guts clenched. He was staring into my eyes with a knowing expression.

“I already know.”

My eyes went wide momentarily before I regained my composure. I knew what he was going to say. Something about my dream girl, and I didn't have any stories to tell him right then, so I said the only thing that came to mind. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Tommy, did you hear me? I know. So you can just say it already.”

I threw my hands up in the air in frustration. If I made a spectacle of myself, maybe he'd drop it. “I can't say something if I don't know what you're talking about.”

“You're gay.”

I looked at Kenickie in shock. “What?” How did he? No, it was impossible.

“Tommy, you don't have to deny it. I've known for a while. You're gay.” I just stared at Kenickie dumbfoundedly. I had no idea what to say. How could he know?

“And by the way, you liking dudes would never change our friendship.”

I looked up at Kenickie. “How...when?”

Kenickie chuckled. “I put two and two together. Primarily, after that summer. Your stories didn't add up. What guy doesn't brag about his hookups? You were just too coy and vague. The final confirmation was at the bowling alley when you looked at Adam. There is no twin sister, is there?”

“No.”

“You really love him, don't you?”

I sighed dramatically, like a lovesick girl. “More that anything. It's been torture not being able to be with him. But finally, that's all about to change.”

Kenickie patted me on that shoulder. “What's happening at graduation today?”

“Not one hundred percent sure.” I took out my phone, and let Kenickie see the text Adam had sent me. “I told him to rescue me, and he's going all out. I don't know whether to be scared or excited.”

Kenickie smiled. “I'd say be excited. And I look forward to officially being introduced once all is said and done.”

“Thanks.” I hugged Kenickie tightly. “I love you, man.”

“I love you too, Tommy.”

I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Kenickie knew my secret and still felt the same about me. I was so happy. It gave me hope that my other friends would be as accepting.

“Boys! Breakfast is ready!” Kenickie's mom yelled from the kitchen.

“Alright. Pancake heaven!” Kenickie said.

“I really love your mom,” I said as I entered the kitchen.

“I love you too, Thomas!” she said as she piled my plate full of fluffy pancakes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

I sat in my chair, trying to stay awake as commencement drug on. Why did it have to take three or four hours to give us a damn piece of paper? Why did we have to sit here and listen to the principal, vice principal, superintendent, guest speaker, salutatorian, and valedictorian all give speeches? Just give us our damn diplomas, and let us be on our merry ways.

We'd already gotten through the principal and vice principal's speeches, and I'd successfully tuned out the superintendent. Adam was four rows in front of me. When I wasn't staring at the back of his head, I was worrying the fabric of my gown, wondering what he had planned. Occasionally Adam would turn and give me a shy looking smile, sending my stomach into a flutter.

I wished this damn thing was over already! I slipped my phone out from under my gown. I typed out a text to Kenickie to try to pass the time and calm my nerves. This is driving me crazy!

I ran my hand through my bangs, which were annoyingly hanging in my eyes. The superintendent was mumbling something about the future when my phone vibrated in my lap.

What's driving you crazy, Angel?

Huh? Ah shit. I'd texted Adam by mistake. Oh well. Sorry Kenickie, but Adam won out. 

Not being with you. It's so close. WTF is taking so long?

Adam turned around and smiled brightly. My heart melted instantly. I watched as Adam ducked his head, obviously typing on his phone.

I waited on edge for his next text. It was silly really, but it almost felt forbidden. Buzz. 

Be patient, Angel. It'll be worth the wait.

I'm tired of waiting.

Me too.

I barely registered the applause indicating that the class speaker was beginning her speech. I hadn't even noticed that the superintendent had finished. Adam was a wonderful distraction.

I typed out another text. Can I tell you something?

Anything. 

I looked to both sides to make sure no one was paying attention to me as I began to type. The past two years have been agony without you. I honestly thought you'd moved on because I never responded to your letters. I was stupid, Adam. I'm sorry.

I suddenly felt nervous. Adam and I hadn't had a chance to sit down and have a much needed heart-to-heart, so opening up after all this time felt awkward and new. My phone buzzed. I took a deep breath and opened the text.

Angel, don't be sorry. It did kill me to think you'd forgotten me, but I understand why you did it.

My heart broke. I knew he'd forgiven me, but I'd never forgive myself for the time we'd lost. Everyday I would fantasize about the day you would come to rescue me. You would rush in and pick me up cheesy bridal style, carry me to the beach where we met, and fuck me under the stars.

I watched Adam's shoulders bounce with laughter as he shook his head. A few seconds later my phone buzzed again. 

Fuck under the stars? How romantic.

I smiled. I've already done the romantic thing with you. Besides after two years without you, I'm sorry, but I'm not thinking romantically.

There you go, apologizing again. I guess you'll just have to wait and see what I have planned won't you Angel? I hope you're not disappointed.

You could never disappoint me.

I heard clapping and looked up. The speaker was already off the stage, and the principal was telling us to take our places. I quickly put my phone away, and stood to follow the progression. Diplomas, salutatorian, valedictorian...that means only about an hour left before my future began. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I was back in my seat, diploma in hand, when I noticed Adam hadn't returned to his seat. My stomach lurched. This was it. It was about to happen, and with Adam's absence, I had a feeling in my gut that he had a huge spectacle planned. A part of me was excited. A part of my was petrified.

The salutatorian was well into her speech, and I found myself dozing. Without Adam to keep me occupied, even if it was only to stare at the back of his head, I couldn't seem to stay conscious. The speech was boring. I perked up slightly at the applause signaling the valedictorian taking her spot at the podium, but quickly fell back into my trancelike stupor. 

Her speech drug on and on. I'm sure it hadn't been longer than ten minutes, but it felt like hours. I was only pulled out of my stupor by the distant sound of a motorcycle engine. It revved several times then seemed to speed off into the distance.

The thought that I should take Adam on my motorcycle crossed my mind. I thought he would enjoy it. Just hit the road with nowhere in particular to go, with his arms wrapped around my waist. Yeah, that sounded nice. 

“Now is the time to reinvent yourself. Become the young men and women you have always dreamed of being,” the valedictorian said.

As if on cue, the motorcycle revved again, this time much closer. It sounded as if it were getting closer by the second. I turned my head in the direction the sound was coming from, and there it was...there he was.

The motorcycle came to a stop in the aisle near the stage, a beautiful leather clad, masked Adam straddling the seat. A smile slowly crept onto my face and spread from ear to ear. A mask? Really? And a motorcycle and leather? I said that off hand-idly. I didn't even realize he'd heard me, let alone look it to heart. God, I loved him.

The valedictorian had stopped talking, and everyone stared in confusion. Adam slowly and sexily slid off the bike and began to make his way to the stage. The valedictorian stared as Adam lightly pushed her out of the way and stood in front of the podium.

Adam cleared his throat and began to speak. “Um, sorry for the interruption everyone, but Erin is absolutely correct. Now is the time to become the men and women we have always dreamed of being. The men and women we are supposed to be. Tommy Joe Ratliff, can you come join me on the stage, please?”

Every head turned and stared at me. I looked around, making eye contact with a few. My friends were mouthing questions at me, but I just shrugged my shoulders. I knew what was happening, and it excited me, but I really still didn't know exactly what he had planned.

I slowly walked up the aisle toward the stage, butterflies flapping aggressively in my stomach. I stopped briefly to admire the motorcycle Adam had rode in on. A classic Harley Davidson. Remodeled. Nice. I climbed the stairs, crossed the stage and stopped next to Adam. He smiled sweetly at me, then turned back to the podium.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, two years ago I met a boy who'd lived his entire life as a lie because he was afraid to be who he was supposed to be. No more.” Adam turned to face me, and slowly pulled the mask off his eyes. He stared into my eyes, hypnotizing me with his electric blue gaze. “No more hiding,” he said to me, it was loud enough for the microphone to pick it up. He then leaned forward and captured my lips with his.

The kiss was sweet and on the chaste side, but wasn't lacking in passion. I wanted to open him up and taste every inch of his mouth, but I knew this wasn't the place. Instead, I just wrapped my arms around Adam's waist, and pulled him close, showering him with small loving kisses.

Pulling away, I couldn't contain the smile on my face. “I love you, Adam. Thank you.”

“I love you, and you're welcome.”

Adam gently pulled out of my grip and turned back to the podium. “Um, thank you for being a part of the first step of...ah...our new lives. Erin, please carry on with your beautiful speech.”

In a hurry to get off the stage, Adam grabbed me and flung me onto his back, piggy back style, and carried me off the stage. Once at the motorcycle, he placed me on the seat, leaned into my ear and said, “My trusty steed.”

I laughed. A genuine belly laugh as Adam mounted the bike. I slid my arms around his waist as the engine purred to life. The vibrations hummed through my body and set every nerve on fire.

“Ready?” Adam asked over the engine.

“As I'll ever be.”

We began to ride off, and I looked out at my classmates, my friends. Everything was out in the open now. There was a bit of a shock in they way it was handled, but out nonetheless. I found Kenickie, who was smiling with pride and love. No matter what, he would always be my best friend.

Next I found Rizzo. We had definitely had our issues, but by the look on her face, all was forgiven. She looked happy for me. Maybe we could be friends after all.

Putzy way next. The look on his face was one of shock. My throat constricted a little, but quickly loosened when he gave me a bright smile and a thumbs up.

Marti and Sonny sat next to each other. As I looked more closely, I noticed they were holding hands. Sonny mouthed a thank you to me before lifting Marti's hand to his lips and kissing it softly.

I already knew Jan and Frenchie were accepting, so I just waved as Adam and I passed. My heart warmed. I was worried for nothing. My friends were accepting of me. I couldn't have ask for anything more.

I smiled as we left the view of the graduating class. My heart was full. Adam pulled onto the busy street. I snuggled into his back, closing my eyes, and focused on the feel of the wind in my hair. Adam had stayed true to his word; he'd been my knight in shining armor. He'd come and saved me from myself, and now with the wind in our hair, he was taking me...us to our future.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“That was definitely NOT fucking,” I said, still panting from our lovemaking. Adam, being a born romantic, had brought me back to the same beach we'd spent our last night together two years ago.

Adam propped himself up on his elbow, and brushed the damp, sticky hair off my forehead before kissing it sweetly. “I just can't look at you that way, Tommy Joe. Like a sex object.”

“What? I'm not sexy enough to fuck?” I asked teasingly.

Adam just laughed. “Of course you are, Angel, but if and when I'm lucky enough to have you naked beneath me, I want to worship you.” Adam kissed me lightly on the lips. “Can't do that with a quick and dirty fuck.”

“Might be fun though.”

“Maybe.”

“And we do have forever.” I look up into his blue eyes, vulnerability and hope radiating from every pore in my body.

Adam gazed into my eyes, hypnotizing me as always. “Forever.”

I leaned forward to capture his lips. We kissed long and languid, no rush to be anything or anywhere else. The moment was perfect, on the beach where it all started. It was a full circle moment. Our full circle moment.


End file.
